Vanessa: These Hands

video directed by Linda Snyder

Vanessa Breaks Her Silence: Chemo Confessions

strength is knowing you're stronger than the storm

Hey Gang,

Thank you to EVERYONE for all of your support.

Vanessa has been going though chemo for the last 6 months. It's not over yet and she's still awaiting word on how long the chemo needs to continue.

It's been quite an ordeal and right now she and her son need our help getting through the next few months financially.

Once again we have a helluva heartfelt rockin' bitchass show lined up for THE BIG SCORPIO BASH!!! this saturday November 20th at the Oakland Metro Operahouse benefitting Vanessa Fighting Cancer Fund.

Please join us.

Thank you.

A Message From Vanessa:

Dearest Beauties that have held me in the Light,

I've been quite quiet on this blog since chemo and I apologize for that. Truth be told I'm very shy about sharing the experience of challenges while I'm experiencing them... These twelves doses of Chemo have humbled and taught me the ways of appreciation like nothing else before. In the beginning it hit me so hard I didn't think I could possibly survive... they tend to dose you as high as possible to see what you can handle and well, I didn't handle it so good at first, but they soon lowered my dose and although it knocked me right over so much that I needed help eating I could see that compared to the first dose I could get through the storm as long as I had my breath everything would be okay, just simply holding on to each breath and allowing it to fuel me life. I have so much to live for and that too is an integral key ingredient to surviving... I'm a MOM so the fact of the matter is there is NO other option but to survive and THRIVE... NO OTHER OPTION!

Healing really does take that kind of commitment and focus... and when it comes to personal healing one must really learn to be gentle with one's self and own one's innocence which can be a hard thing because as humans I think we judge ourselves more harshly then anyone else might and when something like this hits a small part thinks, do I deserve this... was it something I've done, am I to blame... and these thoughts are the last thing one needs at a time such as this...

I've been so blessed by the love that constantly surrounds me that all the little negative parasitic thoughts and feels have been forced into the light to be healed instantaneously and I am eternally grateful for this magic of love and support you have showered me with! It's the most humbling healing experience I have ever been through. I have never felt so complete as a human being because I feel completely ONE with all of you. You have made me surrender the fears and doubts with your love, laughter and grace. It has effected every cells in my body and I believe in this miracle that is happening to me as we speak and I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you for your holding the space for my miraculous healing!

I've experienced the harsh realms of the cancer world and I hope to use this to be able to bring a light to the harsh situations cancer patience have to go through. I have found that laughter is key and unconditional love is unmeasurable in it's ability to transform any situation one's faced with. I have experienced death intimately right before my eyes and I was happy to be with this beautiful women as she passed from a life of pain into the light. I have stared my own death in the eyes and it refused to look back at me because my soul was so loud screaming I BELIVE IN MY LIFE!, that even death had to take the back seat because I have too much LOVE and LIGHT to protect me and I have a MAGIC BOY that I'm here to celebrate life with and that is too important and powerful to be taken from me! It is my intension to see my grandchildren and even my great grandchildren... it's all in the focus... I believe there is always choice and I CHOSE LIFE!

Thank you all again for all the love and support, I can't do this without you and what a beautiful life this is because of you! I intend to make you proud one way or the other and always know that I am here for you as well... I am eternally grateful to you!

THANK YOU TO INFINITY!

~Vanessa

SF/Oakland Bay Area Artist Community: BITCHASS SCORPIO BASH BENEFITING VANESSA FIGHTING CANCER FUND

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 20, 2010

8pm sharp...We've got a night packed with partying to do!

Oakland Metro Operahouse

630 3rd Street (near Jack London Square)

$5-25 sliding scale! please give generously, help our Vanessa get through the next few months of her healing!

The Lineup:

..POLKACIDE..!

..GOAT FLUFFER..!

..SUGAR BUTT TIGER..!

..NAKED LIGHTS..!

..and the debut of AMNESIA BABIES..!

Featuring an assortment of extraordinary performances by:

..COWBOY GIRL..!

..HAL ROBINS..!

..FAT CHANCE BELLY DANCE..!

..and DJ JUNKDRAWER..!

..plus SUPER SECRET BIRTHDAY SURPRISES..

..dancing! singing! contests! artcars! old pictures of flash! burgers..!

Come to the Oakland Metro to celebrate the birth of SOME OF THE MOST NOTORIOUS AND BRILLIANT SCORPIOS our world has ever known!

Flash Hopkins will be 60!

John Lieb will be 50!

Philo Northrup will be 50!

Hal Robins will be 60!

Les Blank will be 75!

That's a whopping 295 combined years of extraordinary living!

Also Celebrating: Jay Broemmel, Jason Norelli, Zoli, Fletcher, AND YEAH YOU SCORPIO...the list keeps getting bigger!

SPREAD THE WORD! SEE YOU THERE!

questions? have something to contribute?

email katy bell--yogaperv@gmail.com"

Vanessa to start chemo tomorrow..4/28 in the early morning

Hey Gang,

I know it's been awhile.. Vanessa got home from her ordeal a few weeks ago and it's been step by step ever since.

Tomorrow, wednesday the 28th of April, Vanessa starts her chemotherapy.

Being of holistic nature, the acceptance of chemo is a huge deal.

If you could.. channel your best healing and warrior badass selves and send Vanessa your best wishes to : thehealingdoor@gmail.com

It would mean the world.

Thank you.

DA

VANESSA UPDATE: NOW IN AUSTIN TX..RETURNS HOME TO BAY AREA 3/25..STARTS CHEMO FIRST WEEK OF APRIL

Hey Gang,

D.A. here.

Sorry if this blog has been a bit quiet since Vanessa's surgery..

It has been a healing time of recovery for Vanessa and everyone on her team.

As you can imagine, her body has been through a lot. Her surgery, although successful, was an intense experience and naturally left her feeling pretty ill for a bit. She's starting to feel much better.

Thank you all for your continued support and wishes.

Here are some important dates:

1.) Vanessa In Austin Texas Right Now until the 25th of March.

That's right, Vanessa is out of the hospital, on her own, and living it up for the first time since emergency surgery on New Year's eve by returning to her old stomping grounds of Austin Texas!

All y'all in Austin want to show her a good time, feel free to drop her a line: thehealingdoor@gmail.com

2.) Vanessa will be returning home to the Bay Area on the 25th of March, where she will be reunited with her 5-year old son Logan, and prepare for 6 months of chemotherapy.

3.) Vanessa will be starting chemotherapy around the first week of April.

Please keep sending those wishes of strength and support as Vanessa prepares for the next round in her fight against cancer.

.. ♥ ..FIGHT..!..WIN..!..WE LOVE YOU..!.. ♥ ..

VANESSA SURGERY UPDATE: GREAT NEWS!

• Tumor removed!

• Colon reattached!

• Colostomy bag removed!

• Vanessa's next steps to be determined after evaluation!

This is great news! I would like to take this moment to extend my heartfelt congratulations to Vanessa's family, especially her mother Lucia who has been through this ordeal with Vanessa every step of the way.

Big love,

D.A.

Here's a quick hello from Vanessa:

" Surgery went well!!! Little bit ouchy but happy it went so well... Much love!"